Russia: great in size, small in brain

When you say vodka and balalaika to describe the Russians, you miss one feature that inseparably goes with them for ages – gigantomania, their love for making something superfluously large and, as a rule, useless. In other words, they adore the size exactly where it doesn’t matter, like in their Tsar Bell, Tsar Cannon, Tsar Tank and Tsar Bomba – all never used.

Now, they have added one more silly achievement to the list – a 70-kilometer-long trench they have dug in the occupied part of the Zaporizhya region in anticipation of a Ukrainian counteroffensive.

Pending the shelling by Ukrainian artillery, this Tsar Trench has gotten under fire of the Ukrainian Defense Ministry’s pungent trolling.

“Tsar Bell that cracked during its casting, Tsar Cannon that never fired, and now the equally useless 70-kilometer-long Tsar Trench dug by the russians in the Zaporizhya region – are these not the unique features of russian civilization that putin likes to talk about?” the ministry asks in a tweet.

The Tsar Bell that cracked during its casting, the Tsar Cannon that never fired, and now the equally useless 70-kilometer-long Tsar Trench dug by the russians in the Zaporizhzhia region – are these not the unique features of russian civilization that putin likes to talk about?

— Defense of Ukraine (@DefenceU) April 9, 2023

That’s witty, except that there is no such a thing as “russian civilization.” They are not civilized.